he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
