sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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