I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
