she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
