it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
