Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
