Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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