it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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