Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
