All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
