Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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