and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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