North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
