"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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