I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
