ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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