u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cockslap morals
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
