Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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