Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
