He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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