sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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