Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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