This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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