singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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