We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How does one acquire holy water?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
