Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
