So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
