There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
