I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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