Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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