oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
