dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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