the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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