i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
