Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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