I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Holy sore nipples Batman
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
