Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
