So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
