Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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