Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize