I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
