FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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