I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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