who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
