sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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