you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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