Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
