Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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