I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Drunk is a universal language darling
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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