Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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