u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
