you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
