she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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