Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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