U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
