sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
