she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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