Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
