i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
