just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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