Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
