I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
