i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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