I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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