big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
